Things just got real...

TCBY frozen yogurt - my new favorite evening treat!

This was the weekend that the husband and I decided to celebrate our first anniversary.  We were married last year, January 9th, 2012, and this weekend we took time to hang out, explore SLC and just enjoy time together.

It's been a crazy first year of marriage. For 5 months of it we survived solely on my salary since he is from the UK and was not allowed to work until the government deemed it appropriate.  It was hard.  During these months he made dinners - delicious, mouth watering, insanely good dinners.  Nothing that tastes that good is good for you - so up my weight went.  Now, I'm not trying to blame it on him at all - I was stressed out, I was happy, I was also jobless (I resigned from my job in April and didn't find a new job officially until June/July).  I eat my feelings.  So, up went the weight with every emotion.

Another thing that happened this year? I found out that without medication/science it will be nearly impossible for me to have children.  It's something that I have struggled with for about 5 months.  I currently have "unexplained infertility," however, this is a diagnosis from an OBGYN and through an amazing community of other women dealing with IF, I really need to see an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to make sure this is an appropriate diagnosis.

During these last 5 months I have gone through so much testing and medication that every month that went by, and I wasn't pregnant, the more weight I gained - I was unhappy.  Finally, during the holidays I had knee surgery and I was forced to spend time doing nothing more than self reflecting.  What I came up with is why I am trying my damnedest to lose weight: my body retaliates when it is overweight.   How do I know this? Well, both times that I've had to have knee surgery I've been overweight - and now, I can't get pregnant - I'm overweight.  Enough is enough.

Down 5 pounds - only 60 or so to go!

Not only did I reflect on things during my time confined to the couch - but I also researched.  I researched the fact that my weight really might play a role in my infertility.  And, that even if it does not solve the problem - it could make for an easier/healthier pregnancy if I am able to get pregnant with the help of science/medication.

This made me come to the very hard decision of taking time off from pursuing medication/doctors until I have lost a good deal of weight.  I'm hoping by March/April I will have lost enough weight to take the next step: contacting the RE.  They usually have wait lists, so that will give me 1-2 months more to lose weight and hopefully I will be getting back to a place where I feel comfortable trying again.

Here I am -5 lbs into my journey.  It's not much, but I wanted to start chronicling my weight loss every 10 lbs.  Unfortunately, I didn't come up with this idea until I had already started, so this one and my next one will be close together.  Oh well!